How would I be, 43
When they hand me the bad news?
The cancer is in you
And it’s not going away
It will be with you
For the rest of your days
And all of the plans
That you had you can
Forget about
Because there’s nothing
To do but just ride
This thing out

I had plans to travel one day
After my years of hard work
When my debts were all paid
I was going to see the things in person
That I’d only read about
And right now I can’t believe
That I ever cared about the money
Like if I built up
A big enough pile
I could lay back
And enjoy it
For a while

It was never the right time
The right time is never
When you don’t decide

Last night I prayed
For a miracle to happen
In the morning
Nothing had changed
The nights are the worst
I have the most time to sit and think
And I feel covered by death
Like a shadow that hangs
I think of the choices
That I made
And the ones that I didn’t make
The ones that were made for me
And how I handled them
I think of the kids that I had
And how I’ll never see them
Grow old
I think of the children that they’ll have
And how I’ll never know them
How I’ll leave them the money
That I never used
With a message that there’s nothing
In waiting for anything
Nothing in this world at all